after Lucille Clifton

It’s not so much that I am 
running
into a new year 

As much as I am
easing into it,
gently.

As inspired by Lucille,
& as I am apt to do,
today I am considering

“all my old promises”

& coming up with some new ones,
too —

Did Lucille, I wonder,
manage to let go?

In the afternoon, 
I buy myself some peonies, out of season,
still closed, fists tight, but not quite ready 
“to break my heart” as Mary wrote.
Along with the pink peonies, 
I also take some eucalyptus,
because it makes me feel good, the greenery, 
like a promise — 
like I really can, I really will —

“Let go 
of what I said to myself
about myself”

When I was 18

    & 28

    & 38

Because it is again, a new year, almost —

I am thinking about a poet, Lucille, 
& regret that I ruined my copy of her book that night
in 2022
I spilled water on my nightstand,
the pages now stuck together, warped —
Reminiscent of those tired things 
I said to myself
about myself
all those times before

— enough already!

I am ready

    I am

        Running

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Inspired by the great Lucille Clifton (and a little Mary Oliver, too)

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